“Tricia Jones’ Breakfast Deemed Culinary Achievement By Foodie Children,” by Tony Cella

Sep 16th, 2015 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

Tricia Jones’ combination of organic cereal and milk was lauded an exquisite example of culinary achievement by her two children at breakfast this morning. Ms. Jones, who describes her two children as “little foodies,” listened as they praised her choice of O-shaped cereal from a niche grocery chain known for healthy offerings. When asked, they offered resounding praise for the blending of ancient grains and organic milk.

“Yeah, mom,” her six-year-old son, Matthew, responded. “It’s good.”

“Thanks,” said Jenny, her nine-year-old.

The new take on the American staple of cereal in milk was considered revolutionary in both flavor and experience. Both children were enlivened knowing they were drinking whole milk from free-range cows. Each O added to their cultural experience as they found themselves gazing into their bowls with wonder during each moment of the farm-to-table morning awakening.

Ms. Jones was met with raucous applause from her dietarily discerning daughter for pairing the dish with non-concentrated orange juice. Jenny announced the beverage, culled from the pulp of organic fruits grown in a country whose name she couldn’t pronounce, had a heightened flavor compared to store bought offerings and added an element of multi-regional fusion to the meal.

“The juice tastes good, Mom,” she said.

After the meal, the kids left for school, where they would endeavor to engage in inconspicuous recreation and social bonding in an environment of learning.

Defenestration-Tony Cella 2Tony Cella’s journalistic writing has appeared in The Anchorage Daily News, New York Post, and L.A. Weekly. To read his fiction work, check out The Fifth Di…, a science fiction webzine, and look for his story “The Shale” in Fresh Meat, an anthology of horror fiction by Sinister Grin Press. Please contact the writer at tonycella37@gmail.com. He is not a cat.

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