Good morning or afternoon or evening or whatever. Welcome to the April 2012 issue of Defenestration, by far the greatest issue of Defenestration I’ve had the pleasure to publish in April 2012!
Since Defenestration isn’t a particularly large operation, Eileen and I act as both editors and slush readers. It’s an interesting experience. We get to see everything, absolutely everything, that pops into the in-box, without anyone filtering the content. We get to see the great, and the not-so-great, and the downright bizarre.
“Bizarre?” I hear you cry. “But you’re a humor magazine!”
Well, sirs and madams, when I say bizarre, I mean bizarre. And if you’ve ever read slush for a magazine, you know exactly what I mean. Not bad submissions, but submissions that aren’t really submissions at all. The racist conspiracy theories that read like the manifestos of criminal masterminds (complete with YouTube videos). The requests to review unpublished manuscripts. The strange misconceptions that we’re a publishing house looking for the next great political thriller. The awkward letters from vaguely European men seeking to romance it up with Eileen.
Lucky for you, the April 2012 issue doesn’t contain any of that stuff. It does include murder (impending), suicide (impending), and the Olympic Games (also impending, and probably canceled, but only because you procrastinated). There are apparitions of famous people (mostly dead ones), and the bodies of snack food magnates (also probably dead), and even Bryan Adams (not dead… yet). And other cool stuff besides.
So, pour yourself a plate of Body-Invigorating Oats With (Extra) Lime Crystals , relax, and enjoy the issue! And then afterward, when your humor gland has been used in a most embarrassing manner, consider submitting something for our next issue. We’re once again open to poetry and short story submissions.
Until next time….
—Andrew Kaye, Editor-in-Chief
Poetry:
Carly Berg, “Nature Poems”
Rachel Gellman, Two Poems
Joel Hardin, “Venting Haiku, Composed in a Grubby Hotel Room in Pokhara, Nepal (dedicated to Bryan Adams, with apologies to fans)”
Lloyd Aquino, “Consummation”
Eric K. Auld, “The Doritos Guy”
Short Stories:
Robert Schladale, “After Opposites Attract”
Chris Nelson, “The Predict-O-Ma-Tron!”
Fred Smith, “You Procrastinate”
Sameer Saklani, “What Hamlet Said”
Thomas Mundt, “The Non-Binding Employment Discussion”
Gary Newhook, “Umbro-Matic”
Hall Jameson, “Alone, in Good Company”
Downloadable Copy: