Internal TSA Memo

To All TSA Agents:

In the wake of recent airport security lapses, the TSA has devoted considerable time and energy to alternative screening techniques. Although the Administration’s initial planning focused on overt measures at the traditional security checkpoint – e.g., underwear checks, random full body cavity searches, etc. – further investigation has led Administration officials to believe that such efforts would not yield the desired results. Rather, our 18-month survey of airline passengers revealed that such added security would “enrage,” “annoy,” or “boil the blood of” 93.4% of the American public.