This is how Winslow has spent every snow day since 1995. And let his diligence be a message to the rest of you: If you’re ever unhappy with your body, build yourself a surrogate out of snow.

1. A robot must not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by a human being, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does

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Are children getting dumber or am I getting smarter? I may not be the best person to answer this. Last time I had a babysitting job, I was almost inspired to start a career directing snuff films. And let’s face it, kids are really fucking stupid. They spend the first few years of their life

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I felt a powerful need to draw this when I found out the smurflions from Avatar had sex with their hair. Because, you know. They have sex. With their hair.

Dear Uncle Jay: My friend Irwin says that the TV series Bewitched was not a fiction-based situation comedy capitalizing on that era’s “magical” trend, but a documentary series detailing the tortured true-life existence of a man trapped in marriage to a sorceress. Irwin has “episodes,” if you know what I mean, but he seems sincere

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