Ten years, you guys. This October, Defenestration will be ten years old!

Have any of you ever read slush? Have you ever read slush for ten years straight? After so long a time, Eileen’s lucky to still have her sanity, and I’m lucky to still have my sanity and my rakish good looks. But the slush is wearing us down, and we’re quickly becoming editors on the edge. We don’t sleep well. We don’t eat well. Our nerves have been rubbed raw. I have literally—literally—seen Eileen turn into a Tyrannosaurus over seemingly insignificant things. The other day she almost leveled an IHOP after finding an uneven distribution of blueberries in her blueberry pancakes. This sort of destruction cannot continue no matter how awesome and no matter how many views the resulting videos on YouTube attain.

I’ve had a busy, busy couple of weeks. So busy, in fact, that I was having trouble coming up with something to write about for my editorial this month. Eileen suggested I write about pie, but this year also marks Defenestration’s TENTH volume. So in place of an editorial, here’s a list of ten pies…

Welcome to December 2012, travelers!

I’ll jump right into this editorial biz: I love it when a submission stick with me.

After the initial read, the hold request, the dozens of other submissions that come and go… it’s nice to reach the end of the reading period and vividly remember the stuff I held onto. Take, for example, Addison Clift’s “The Passenger.” That was one of the first stories we added to the pending pile, way back in early September. But when the reading period closed, I knew I wanted it in this issue. I remembered it. More than that–every time I stepped into a subway car, I though about it, as if any moment a fellow commuter would shed his skin and devour the other passengers. (This was especially true when a crazy guy boarded the train and started talking about how he was President Obama’s brother and how Dr. King “never took shit from no one,” and then had a long discourse with an invisible friend that involved the Kennedy assassination and several unkind comments about women. “Phara Koltana I am your vessel!” wasn’t far off.)

Hello there, friends (and probably relatives), welcome to the August 2012 issue of Defenestration!

You’ll no doubt notice that this issue is short. Not short on content: we have five short stories and seven poems for you to enjoy this month. However, each of the short stories are flash fiction pieces. We didn’t really plan it out that way, but I don’t think you’ll mind. Characters included this month include a lovesick pharmacist, a digital daughter, a naked revolutionary, and a disillusioned science fiction writer. See for yourself! All the stories and poems can be found in the links below, or read together in the downloadable PDF copy.

I should add that this month’s issue contains strong language and sexual themes. That will probably just make you want to read it more, but I figured I should warn you all the same, so you’re not shocked and embarrassed. I can see you blushing already. Good. Get it out of your system now.

Good morning or afternoon or evening or whatever. Welcome to the April 2012 issue of Defenestration, by far the greatest issue of Defenestration I’ve had the pleasure to publish in April 2012!

Since Defenestration isn’t a particularly large operation, Eileen and I act as both editors and slush readers. It’s an interesting experience. We get to see everything, absolutely everything, that pops into the in-box, without anyone filtering the content. We get to see the great, and the not-so-great, and the downright bizarre.

“Bizarre?” I hear you cry. “But you’re a humor magazine!”

Well, sirs and madams, when I say bizarre, I mean bizarre. And if you’ve ever read slush for a magazine, you know exactly what I mean.