Posts Tagged ‘ genevieve valentine ’

ERAGON: a Rondo

Sep 20th, 2005 | By

I. dusk streaks the sky in pink, like a pervert. speaking thus of perverts: paolini. he and his dragon lass seek the evil galbatorix, scourge of over-the-counter laxatives in many a foreign land. “his vocabulary is so large!” the reporter cries, a bard in the desert. the biggest word used by the hero: “wonderful.” you

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Veronica Marrs

Aug 20th, 2005 | By

Okay. Veronica Mars. If you are a hipster, a geek, a dork, a cheerleader, a guy who wants to nail a cheerleader, or someone on Livejournal, you’re watching Veronica Mars. But really, you should stop. I know they put out a big campaign to make you watch, out of guilt – GOOD TV WILL VANISH

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Christian Bale: A History

Jul 20th, 2005 | By

Dear Christian Bale, Now that you are the new Batman, I know you have a lot of people admiring your work for the first time. Since most of them are women, I will assume you get approached in the street a lot, which has to be uncomfortable for you, as you are British and therefore

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“Kingdom of Heaven”: Choose Your Own “Adventure”

May 20th, 2005 | By

There is a scene in Kingdom of Heaven that perfectly sums up the film as a whole. Young knight Balian, played with cheese-sandwich thoughtfulness by starlet Orlando Bloom, has vowed to defend the helpless. Therefore, he takes his ragtag band of a dozen glorified extras and rides headlong into approximately twenty thousand well-armed Muslims. The

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Rich, Chocolate Constantine. More Constantine, Please!

Mar 20th, 2005 | By

This month we examine Constantine, an antihero comic book movie based on “religion.”As you can see by my use of quotes, this movie will be long and contain a lot of pointless and inaccurate religious references. I shall ignore most of them in this review, as I ignored them in my free screening, because I’m

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