Being turned down by attractive celebrities is how sociopaths are made. At least in the cartoon world. Winslow is very likely to start kidnapping princesses next. That’s just how these things go down.

Now that Winslow has won a sizable (if undefined) amount of money with a winning lottery ticket, it’s time to spend it! Money in the hands of Winslow is a potential danger. He’s just as likely to spend it on ham sandwiches, night vision goggles, and girlie mags as he is on stolen antiquities and doomsday devices. The option depicted here is a more responsible choice: hiring Salma Hayek to star in a movie is an investment, really. Just think of the money he could make with this thing!

Sometimes I wish human facial expressions had the elasticity of cartoon characters. No one would be able to hide their real feelings. And if anyone won the lottery, everyone would no without smug announcements of sudden wealth.

Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving and I didn’t feel like putting up a Thanksgiving-themed comic up yesterday, here’s a turkey-themed comic. Because people cook turkeys on days other than Thanksgiving, right? And you probably have some cold turkey leftover from yesterday, right? So turkey’s still fresh in your mind? Maybe even in a sandwich?

Obviously this comic is based on the Dr. Seuss book The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. My son is obsessed with it at the moment, and he insists I read it to him twice–sometimes thrice–in one day. I don’t mind, of course. I always liked The Cat in the Hat Comes Back more than its predecessor, The Cat in the Hat. Something about an alphabet’s worth of doppelganger cats in a matryoshka of hats is awesome.