There are only three things that Winslow truly fears: crickets, the CIA, and the Moustache Wizard. It’s not that the Moustache Wizard is evil, exactly. Or at all. But there’s something about his mustachioed magic that dips deep down into Winslow’s psyche and stirs up unspeakable horrors. Luckily, this golem Winslow built between last week’s comic and this one will protect him from harm.

Remember all those times Winslow found a mysterious button in his house, and then he pressed it, and amazing things happened? Well, the button has returned, and it has clearly been programmed with some sort of of temptation algorithm that modifies itself based on whoever is nearby!

Anyone who is offended by turning babies into necklaces has come to the wrong corner of the Internet. :)

Hook is one of my favorite movies EVER. I think to needed to be around 10 or 12 years old to really appreciate it when it first came out; the critics hated it, but who the hell cares what they thought? Hook gave us Dustin Hoffman in his greatest role ever. Yes, greater than Rain Man. I’ve been thinking about (and watching) Hook a lot lately, because we’ve lost two of it’s principal actors this year: first Bob Hoskins, who played Mr. Smee, and then Robin Williams, who played Peter Pan.

Once upon a time, Eileen threw a tea party at her house. Like, a legit, fancy tea party, where everyone dressed up in fancy clothes and drank tea from saucers. To prepare for this party, I made my own monocle by destroying a pair of Harry Potter glasses. It was pretty damn amazing. Ever since that day, I’ve lived my live by a simple motto: Everything is better with a monocle. In today’s strip, I decided to prove this.