Prose

“A French-Fried Fiasco,” by Mary Catherine Owen

Nov 20th, 2007 | By

“I am so sick of French fries,” she suddenly remarked, and I looked up from my menu in surprise. “I mean, honestly, why have they become the be-all, end-all of restaurant side dishes? There’s nothing remarkable about them, unless they’re crinkle-cut, or curly, or topped with cheese and chili or something, and even then, they’re

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“Convenience,” by Ryan Jackson

Nov 20th, 2007 | By

Reynold fell asleep behind the wheel of the car, waking up again some twenty or thirty miles away on another highway. “Aw crap,” his mouth moves to say.  He pulls over at the next exit, stops at a large convenience store to get his bearings.  A man inside feels all the bags of Ruffles, the

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“A Daffodil’s Version of Romeo and Juliet,” By Amanda Burns

Oct 20th, 2007 | By

Warning: May contain nuts Recommended Audience: 18.5 + According to Harold Bloomers,  ‘the love shared by Romeo and Juliet is as healthy and normative as a honey-coated enema after having your leg ripped off and your soul destroyed by an irate chicken wearing stilettos.’ Discuss this statement in relation to Shakespeare’s play and whatever version

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“Archangel Migraine,” by Wesley Durham

Oct 20th, 2007 | By

When I first found out I was a prophet I was super pumped. I mean who wouldn’t be. One day I’m the stockroom manager at Smart and Final and then, out of nowhere, I’m an instrument of the living god. That’s a hell of a promotion. He did a really good job explaining it to

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“Take That, Mr. Cleemann!” by Matthea Marquart

Oct 20th, 2007 | By

Having mastered the works of one Dr. Seuss at a precocious age, it was clear that I would be naturally gifted in the art of freestyle rap, should I ever choose to make my debut in this art form.    However, even with the force of this overwhelming scientific evidence, my obstinate boyfriend Mr. Cleemann saw fit

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