Prose

“Bee Branch does Ulysses,” by Meg Tuite

Aug 20th, 2011 | By

It was their monthly Ulysses meeting at Kildare’s in Bee Branch, Arkansas. Lisa, Wade and Joe sat behind frosty mugs of Bud with their stained, unabridged copies of the tome in front of them. No one else was going to show up.



“(un)Even Roads Have Feelings,” by Graham Tugwell

Aug 20th, 2011 | By

Out by Feargal Lawlor’s!

Down by the pump near Mixie’s Well!

Round by the broken crannóg at Loughool!

There it goes—the Ballybothar Road!



“Excuses for Late English 112, Section 004 Papers from a Large, Unnamed Community College in Virginia,” by Jessica McCaughey

Aug 17th, 2011 | By

I have food poisoning.
My car broke down.
My brother messed up the printer.
I didn’t read the story.
I didn’t get the story.
I hated the story.



“Only a Pony,” by Hugh Burgess

Aug 10th, 2011 | By

Odd how a small thing can stir a huge memory. One Saturday morning, on NPR’s “It’s Only a Game,” the talk had turned to the versatility of a noted sports writer, who was not, said commentator Glenn Stout, “just a one-note pony.” My body jacked bolt upright in its recliner, my Ovaltine sloshed into my lap, and my mind barely choked off an expletive so crude that it is now commonly reserved for strolling gangs of teenage girls. One Note Pony? Who in the name of Gypsy Rose Lee would possibly remember!

Tuneful ponies are, of course, rare, and nowadays seldom noticed.



“Supplicant Applicant,” by J. Thompson

Aug 3rd, 2011 | By

We have heard that you are looking for a job, which doesn’t surprise us since you haven’t been setting the world on fire lately. If you follow the simple guidance entailed in this form then you too can join an exciting community of obedient uniform wearers. If you don’t want to join our team you are wasting only your own time because we have automated the process to better screen the hoards of applicants the failing economy sends our way. Dutiful robots and almost equally cheap citizens of Bangalore winnow this pool to ensure that only the best and brightest will stock the shelves of your community and return carts to corrals.