A West Jefferson, Ohio, cardboard box has filed a class action lawsuit against tens of millions of Americans, citing defamation, libel, slander, reputational damage, separation anxiety, social phobia, externalist angst, agoraphobia, panic disorder, PTSD, ADHD, and FOMO.

New issue coming August 20th 2022!

Winslow is the kind of gamer that can’t ever take anything seriously. He also knows deep down that no one, not even a fantasy persona of his own making, could ever be more interesting than his real-life self. I imagine this combination of flippancy and narcissism would annoy anyone trying to navigate a role-playing game with him. Especially when he also knows an interesting collection of vocabulary words.

INGREDIENTS

An easily bruised heart
Mother issues
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup water

“Hi there! I’m Chip DeForsey for THE QUATRO, the Game Show Network’s fourth channel, and I’m here with Derek Bremer on his epic win tonight. Derek how long have you been playing Mario Kart?”