This comic will make absolutely no sense to you if you’ve never played Super Mario Bros. Or any of its 13 thousand sequels. And if you haven’t played Super Mario Bros. (or any of its 13 thousand sequels), then shame on you. Shame on you for missing out on the most important pop-culture phenomenon of the 1980s. Yes, more important than Cyndi Lauper, or hair metal, or even the Safety Dance.

The passing this week of Flushing delicatessen owner Fillmore Weinreb might have gone unnoticed were it not for his improbable claim nearly four decades ago that he, and not Neil Armstrong, had in fact been the first man on the moon, along with his cat, Max.

The real problem with robots isn’t that they have a limited vocabulary, but that their vocabulary is too damned good. They know every word that has ever been published in a dictionary, and absolutely no context to use them properly.

Jonathan, what does one actually do with an MFA in Creative Writing?   That’s right, bitches!  In case you all didn’t hear, I finally graduated with an MFA, a master’s degree in the delicate art of making shit up. Of course, this is usually a wonderful topic at parties.  Once an MFAer is identified, everyone

[continue reading…]

Dear Greg,

I appreciate your e-mail protesting the C you received on your midterm exam. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to write me. (Of course, it would have taken even more courage to confront me in person, but whatever. Not everyone has gumption.)