You know what’s cool? Hats. You know what else is cool? Trebuchets. And people aren’t wearing enough trebuchets.

Waldorf Salad School. From tots to teens, they’ll be chopping apples in no time! And did we mention mayonnaise? That squirty lemon thing? Big glass bowl? That’s about it. All day, every day. For a whole fucking year. Until Her Highness gets so tired of salad that she straightens up and goes back to the perfectly good school you moved to the suburbs for in the first place.

I didn’t draw this, but I don’t think you’ll care.

Every child grows up and slowly acquires the knowledge of social norms within the particular society in which they are being raised. The immigrant child, however, faces the specific problem of trying to merge two conceptions of normalcy: that of their parents, and that of their peers. With these dichotomous views one can’t help but feel a little different. Much of this otherness stems from a variance in religion and the cultural rituals that sprout from it. And when it came to “otherness,” even at an early age I was well on my way to cornering the market. My personal exposure to basic Christian beliefs was so limited during my childhood that there was a time when I just thought “Christ” was a surname. I imagined the village mixers in Nazareth during his infancy…

I hope all of you enjoyed your Thanksgiving. And for those of you who think of Thanksgiving as something to survive rather than enjoy, I hope you all came out mostly unscathed. And for those of you who don’t celebrate Thanksgiving at all, forget I said anything. You don’t get to partake in my well-wishing today.