Here at Placebo Meadows we believe that no matter how old you are, you should always be willing to participate in the joy of learning. With that thought in mind, we are pleased to announce this year’s lectures. Dates will be announced in the near future.

1. The Horse Shouter

Did you ever wonder what happens to the horses a Horse Whisperer can’t fix? Suppose a horse is deaf or has just kicked the Horse Whisperer into the dung heap for the third time. What’s the recourse? That’s where a Horse Shouter comes in. We are fortunate to have Winfred Equiflab, DNV who will explain to us the ins and outs of horse shouting from basic methods to his more subtle techniques. He is the originator of the direct approach to improving equine behavior, such as shouting, “Shape up or it’s the glue factory for you,” in a horse’s ear. He will also recount a number of sometimes humorous and sometimes life-threatening incidents when a horse’s initial reaction to his approach was on the negative side.

A final caution to the audience. Remember that Equiflab is our guest. Thus, any over–compassionate horse advocates in the audience should refrain from shouting obscenities at our guest-speaker.

2. The Power of Envy as a Motivating Force

Marvin Q. Frabberstat, LRC, is the author of the best sellers: The Envy Driven Life and Crave Your Way to Better Health. He will explain to us how the simple human emotion of envy can be used to turn one’s life in a more positive direction. He will highlight his talk with examples from history such as the fact that it was Napoleon’s envy of the fun times everyone was having at Alexander I’s court that caused him to invade Russia. Our Staff Psychologist Lesley K. Sooth CLD will be available after this lecture to assist anyone from the audience who needs help in identifying their optimum PEO (Personal Envy Object).

3. Low Cost Long Distance Hiking.

Miriam Quickfarder (Trail-name, Stingy) is an experienced hiker and one of the world’s leading experts on low–cost long–distance hiking. She will explain her cost saving techniques that made it possible for her to hike the entire Appalachian Trail for less than six thousand dollars while still staying overnight at hostels and motels forty percent of the time. She’ll cover how to maximize the utilization of “trail angels” who provided free food at road crossings and thus reduce the cost of freeze-dried food. Her talk will be illustrated with pictures of motels where she stayed as well as shots she took of various trail angels she met and the food they served. She’ll describe how she handled the most difficult section of the Trail, the No-charging Wilderness, the one hundred and eighty miles where no phone–charging stations are available. She’ll also describe Allchirps, the app that plays birdcalls in your earbuds, calls that are appropriate for the region where you are hiking. Her talk is spiced with her descriptions of amusing incidents on the trail when, for example, she tricked a motel owner into giving her a free room or got stuck in a tree she had climbed in hopes of getting more bars on her phone.

4. Help Save the Cockroach

Did you know that over the last decade the cockroach population of our globe has dropped from one hundred and twenty-five trillion to less than eighty-five trillion? Lydia P. Parfetter MOD, Director of the Savearoach Foundation, will explain why this shocking reduction has come about for a species that has been around for millions of year. To quote Lydia, “It is ironic that cockroaches have survived the environmental traumas of the past thousands of years only to face extinction by our modern civilization.” The lecture topics covered will include: What we can learn about family life from the New York City grey roach, six common products found in any kitchen that can be deadly to roaches, and how to identify and protect roach eggs.

You’ll also learn how you can help Lydia put cockroaches on the endangered species list.

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Glossary: For those of you not familiar with the acronyms used by professionals, this short glossary may be of help.

DNV: Definitely No Vet

LRC: Lacking Relevant Credentials

CLD: College Level Dropout

MOD: Mail Order Degree

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Stan Dryer is the pen name of an author who lives in southern New Hampshire. He has been writing and publishing short stories and humorous pieces for over sixty years. he has been published in magazines ranging from Playboy to Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery magazine. To see a sampling of his work, including mysteries, westerns and monument climbing, go to his blog,  www.standryer.com.