“McRueful’s – Where Every Night is Ladies’ Night!” by L. L. Babb

Jan 14th, 2026 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

BAR MENU

NIBBLES

  • Assorted artisanal one-night stands sourced from local colleges (guaranteed 18 and over)
  • Grilled weekend warrior salad with a bad boy vinaigrette and Kawasaki fumes
  • Married co-worker aspic on a wilted marital bed
  • Battered and deep-fried barfly poppers – Careful! They’re spicy!

MAINS

  • Law school braggadocio with steamed ex-wife, Meyer lemon wedges, and student loan debt
  • Boneless Momma’s boy in a white wine reduction, served in a sweater vest on a bed of Honey-do lists
  • Mouth breathing Incel with tarragon butter love handles, raw Ninja stars, and your choice of Nunchakus or a hemp noose or both! (Hemp may cause choking)
  • Comb-over Coho accountant with pocket protector and progressive lenses cocooned in a wire frame
  • Prime of Life Special – aged and slow-roasted in Sixties rock served with au juice and foraged Santa Cruz mountains mushrooms

DESSERTS

  • Pecan and bourbon tart-mouthed twit served warm with a scoop of alcoholism
  • Tiramisu made with whipped snowflake (choice of political affiliation) soaked in paranoia, surrounded by Ding Dongs, and topped with a smattering of suspicious powder
  • Large bear in a to-go container

BEVERAGES

  • Roofied
  • Non-roofied (when available)

————

L. L. Babb has been a teacher for the Writers Studio since 2008. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in the Beloit Fiction Journal, Peatsmoke Journal, Cleaver, the San Francisco Chronicle, the MacGuffin, Writing Disorder, and elsewhere. She received a special mention in the 2022 Pushcart anthology for her short story, “Where Have You Been All Your Life.” Lorraine lives deep among the trees of Forestville, California, with her husband Cornbaby Johnson, dog Smudge, and cat Cosmo. Visit her online at LLBABB.com.

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