“Tasting Notes,” by K R Reeve

Mar 1st, 2023 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose


A new blend of grapes, making lots of noise in winery circles. Effort is required to appreciate the initial notes, but will be rewarded by increased complexity. More expensive than anticipated.

Pair with: sweets and puddings, particularly chocolate.


This is a supple number, perfectly suited by its freshness as an aperitif. It is memorable for its clarity, brightness and unique aromas of fresh picked red berries.

Pair with: uncured meats, fresh fruit, soft young cheeses.


Full flavoured perfection: vibrant, bold, intense and delicious. This is one to look out for. Make the most of it as supplies are surprisingly limited.

Pair with: wild game, freedom and spicy dishes from around the world.


A party wine: bubbly and suitable for toasting. Buy in bulk for celebrations. Frothy, like that white silk tulle your mother preferred.

Pair with: cake, speeches and a misplaced sense of optimism.


Improvement is at the heart of this grower’s philosophy, extending your sensory experience with an aftertaste of brick dust. Drink while hoping house prices keep going up.

Pair with: a mortgage you can’t really afford.


A delicious organic vegan number, completely alcohol-free. Aromas of lanolin and bio oil. Drink within nine months and try to remember why you thought it a good idea.

Pair with: whatever you can keep down.


An irritable blend from a new wine growing region where night has no meaning and sleep is just a rumour. Notes of cough syrup, raisins and unimaginable exhaustion.

Pair with: probably take out again, let’s be honest.


A good table wine, suitable for everyday drinking. Pay attention or its richness will be missed. Drink in silence on opening, before falling asleep where you sit.

Pair with: anything you can find in the fridge because it wasn’t you who should have placed the supermarket order.


A brooding number, a little of this wine goes a long way. Notes of slammed doors, black clothing and incomprehensible music. Drink after parents’ evening.

Pair with: unachievable work : life balance, sensible underwear and moisturiser everywhere.


This wine is all about mixing it up. It can be an acquired taste, with hints of acrimony and betrayal. However, perseverance will bring reward.

Pair with: best drunk alone.


Although slowly matured in wood, this could be mistaken for a much younger wine, lifting the moment with aromas of new directions, empty nests and independence. Close in character to our second glass.

Pair with: anything fast and loose.


Rich and smooth, perfectly balanced with a long elegant finish, an open fire and some dogs. Aroma of dodgy knees gives way to resigned satisfaction and zero fucks given.

Pair with: whatever you damn well like.


K R Reeve lives in Hertfordshire, UK. Likes dogs with beards and dead languages. Infuses interesting gins and hides in the poetry section, dreaming of the sea. Previous words published and/or commended by December House, Brittle Star, Funny Pearls, FlashFlood, @tldrpress. Pushcart nominated. Irregularly tweets @K_R_Reeve

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