“Nihilist BuzzFeed Quizzes,” by Zoe Baillargeon

Feb 7th, 2018 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

Pick your fave food item from Chipotle and we’ll guess the exact time and date when you realized life has no purpose.

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Describe your personal style using pictures of Taylor Swift and we’ll help you pick the best clothes to wear that tell the world that you give up and it should too.

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Choose a cause you’re passionate about to donate to and find out why your $20 dollars won’t make the slightest bit of difference.

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Plan your ultimate vacation to Europe and we’ll tell you why nothing and no place will bring you happiness or fulfillment.

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Pick a dream career and we’ll explain why what we do with our lives doesn’t matter.

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Plan a date with a hottie from this line-up of A-List celebrities and we’ll tell you love is a fruitless endeavor and developing romantic attachments is a complete waste of time.

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Build a salad and we’ll tell you how you’re gonna die anyway.

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Tell us your top five One Direction songs and we’ll accurately guess how many times your family has begged you to go to therapy or talk to someone about your predilection toward nothingness.

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Choose a Disney-themed tattoo you’d get and where, and we’ll guess exactly how many times people have urged you to have a more positive outlook on life.

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We’ll accurately guess your astrological sign based on your taste in “God is Dead” memes.

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You probably won’t get 10/10 on this quiz unless you live your life according to the philosophy of existential nihilism.

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Build a Frappucino at Starbucks because who even cares anymore.

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Pick a favorite discontinued food item from the 90s and we’ll tell you how useless everything is.

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Do this quiz because life is meaningless AF.

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Originally from Santa Fe, New Mexico, writer, actor, journalist, and proud Shouts and Murmurs rejectee Zoe Baillargeon graduated with a degree in theater and creative writing from the soon-to-be-defunct Santa Fe University of Art and Design. Her work has been published in, among others, Atlas Obscura, Matador Network, and the Glyph literary magazine, where she won “Best New Voice”, and her self-published chapbook of travel-themed essays, stories, and poems, Fernweh. She currently lives, works, and writes in Chile.

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