“Mixed Martial Arts & Crafts,” by Marie C. Baca

Jun 12th, 2013 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

Karate Pottery
A method of unarmed combat in which sharp blows and kicks are administered to ceramics.

The traditional practice of throwing an opponent to the ground, immobilizing him with a grappling maneuver, and then forcing him into the shape of a crane.

Kung Felting
Combatants angrily pierce one another with barbed needles, but after being washed together in hot water they become inseparable.

A sport in the Martha Stewart Craft Olympics in which competitors give each other paper cuts and then seal the wounds with varnish.

Muay Thai Knitboxing
In this Southeast Asian sport, strikes are dealt with scarves, hats, mittens, and booties.

Krav Maga-cramé
The friendship bracelet system used by the Israeli Armed Forces.


Defenestration-Marie C. BacaMarie C. Baca is a journalist, essayist, and humor writer. She once chased a bear through a forest while wearing a sundress and flip-flops. The bear escaped. Read more of her work at www.mariecbaca.com

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