With all the mermaids wandering around in May, it was only a matter of time before someone got bitten by one.

I know a lot of guys are growing quarantine beards right now, because why the heck not? I tried until my facial hair started driving me crazy, and I shaved it all off. I like to live my life in a constant state of rakish stubble, so the full beard just isn’t my thing.

A house full of wonders, yet somehow, nothing to do.

Welcome to week four of quarantine, where we’ve started living entirely off Easter candy and whatever crumbs and powders we find in the back of the cupboard.

This week only: The Ben & Winslow poetry slam, where I forgo an actual comic and instead use it as a framing device for some parody poetry. Enjoy.