
Ben & Winslow
Fantastical Language Proficiency
Winslow is the kind of gamer that can’t ever take anything seriously. He also knows deep down that no one, not even a fantasy persona of his own making, could ever be more interesting than his real-life self. I imagine this combination of flippancy and narcissism would annoy anyone trying to navigate a role-playing game with him. Especially when he also knows an interesting collection of vocabulary words.
Recent Posts
- Fantastical Language Proficiency
- “Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Compote,” by Rebecca Coffey
- “An Interview After Crushing My Son’s Friend in Mario Kart 8,” by Derek Bremer
- “Fits and Starts: New Music Concert Jolts and Dazzles,” by Eva Meckna
- “Clear the Room with Your Podcast Knowledge,” by Michael Wolf
- “Caring for the Dying Patient at Home,” by Traci Mullins
- I See You Are a Man of Culture
- “Notice to All Employees Regarding the Burger Czar’s Appearance,” by Ken Robey
- Choose Your Character
- “Zookeeping for Dummies,” by Sarah Totton
Featured

Welcome, welcome, to the April 2022 issue of Defenestration! It might be spring, but the weather has gotten cold and wet and miserable around Defenestration HQ, which means we all had to dig our sweaters out of storage and made the tough decision to burn our charming wooden deck furniture for warmth. Nature is against us, friends, but that hasn’t stopped the latest issue from dropping right on time.

Welcome, one and all, the the December 2021 issue of Defenestration: the literary magazine that has been dedicated to humor for so long that we stopped keeping track. (That’s a lie. Eileen has been keeping track. One deep scar on the wall of her living room for every month Defenestration has existed. It looks as if a cat the size of a Volkswagen has been trying to claw its way out of her home.)

Good morning, everyone! Happy Friday and best wishes to all of you on this fine 20th of August! And welcome! Welcome to the latest issue of Defenestration, which, if we’ve assembled this thing correctly (and we think we have), contains the sum total of everything you have ever thought was hilarious and condensed it into an easily consumable format. (And coming soon: Defenestration, the suppository!)
Nonfiction

Has listening to the radio worn a hole in your mind? Are you tired of watching Captain Kangaroo and his lover, Mister Greenjeans? Now there is an alternative—The Podcast.
Fake Nonfiction

INGREDIENTS
An easily bruised heart
Mother issues
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
Fiction

Transmogrify, take a ceiling beam if you wish, my words will retain their meaning whichever way you choose to hang. All I beseech you is, please, save your questions until the end. Dawn is but a few hours hence. And we must use what these new men call the “small hours” to master my last class in stakeholder management.
Poetry

One morning man in nursing home
walks out of room with robe open, genitals hanging out.
Lady next door shouts Oh my goodness!
Then slams her door.
Man lifts genitals and says They dead.
Ben & Winslow

Winslow is the kind of gamer that can’t ever take anything seriously. He also knows deep down that no one, not even a fantasy persona of his own making, could ever be more interesting than his real-life self. I imagine this combination of flippancy and narcissism would annoy anyone trying to navigate a role-playing game with him. Especially when he also knows an interesting collection of vocabulary words.