Moderator: Ladies and Gentlemen, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Agnostics, Fanatics, and members of the Kansas Board of Education, we have a rare treat for you this evening. {Jeers from the audience} Since the presidential candidates declined an invitation to participate in debate, invoking the confidentiality of Skull and Bones, we had to scramble to fill

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Hello, people of the  ’internet!’ We are completely blown away here; had no idea how many  ’e-mails’ were in our  ’inbox.’ 928,391. That is just crazy! Our Commissioner of Contemporary Culture informed us that someone had created a  ’hotmail account’ for us in 1999. That’s ages ago! That’s when we were still churning our own

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Sometimes, when I sit and really think about it, I realize I’m a lot like Jesus. Not in the “I’m going to preach about love and peace to people who won’t listen in order to help the world” sense. More like, in the sense of, “Here I am, I’m not going to change, I’m here

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The wheelchair was loaded with cabbages. It was electric and moved along the sidewalks of town, apparently on its own. Some people found its appearance disturbing, but most had learned to get used to it, some even affectionately calling it ‘Wheelie’. The wheelchair rolled to the seaside cliff on the outskirts of town, and for

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It began with soccer overseas but spread like most European trends to the United States. It catalyzed a domino effect. The NBA was the first to go with Milwaukee trading in their antlered zealot for a dancing cup of joe. The Milwaukee Starbucks were born. They struggled after replacing water coolers with the considerably less

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