WANTED: Spirits willing to relocate.
Do you tire of your decaying mansions, dusty attics, and all too quiet libraries? Fancy a view of the sea and the comforts of modern habitation? Do you dream of a place where friendly folks will welcome you into their homes and businesses like one of the family?
Look no further!
The seaside village of Hollyoake Cove has been open a full year and the residents desire to shake off the town’s highly manufactured atmosphere and give it a real sense of time and history. Their solution—open the town to the spirit world!
Ideal candidates will range from warm grandparent types for residential spaces to grumpy old soldiers to act as night watchmen at selected local businesses. The town has specifically requested an inhabitant for the lighthouse—sea captains highly encouraged to apply—as well as a dark, brooding gentleman with impeccable manners for the library.
All applicants must have a minimum of fifty years experience in benevolent hauntings with references. There is a modest shipping stipend available for object-bound spirits.
If you wish to apply to the Whittinghams position for an entire family of spirits to join them at their estate, please see and respond to their separate advertisement.
Malevolent spirits, poltergeists, and general troublemakers need not apply. Possession is strictly forbidden. In fact, harming the residents in any way will result in consequences up to and including exorcism from our plane of existence.
A fair number of our retired citizenry have expressed interest in curse breaking and murder solving. Cursed spirits and those who believe their deaths to be less than natural will need to fill out additional forms found on the Town Council’s website.
Mediums will be available Wednesdays and Fridays between midnight and three for those experiencing trouble accessing the online forms. Please be patient when trying to get through as we expect a high amount of traffic.
Not looking for long-term relocation? Want to try us out before making a full commitment? Our Autumn Festival runs the entire month of October. We are still looking for cemetery specters, midnight dune walkers, and a vanishing hitchhiker for this year’s festivities.
We hope you’ll consider joining our friendly community here in Hollyoake Cove!
UPDATE: The position of vanishing hitchhiker has been filled. Thanks to all who applied.
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GRAYIRON BAY IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!
BOOK YOUR STAY TODAY!
Situated forty miles north of Hollyoake Cove, Grayiron Bay is the original spirited village on the picturesque Haven Coast. For nearly a century, we have played host to the world with our acclaimed autumnal festival. Now, Grayiron Bay is delighted to offer classic seaside lodgings for short-term rental—year round!
Book a cottage with unsurpassed views and a best-selling author from days of yore to help you finish your novel. Or perhaps you’d like to employ one of our highly trained Edwardian nannies. With a century’s worth of experience, they’ll look after the little ones so you can experience the rarity of a quiet dinner.
Take cooking classes from a renowned eighteenth century chef. Learn history on long guided nature walks with the region’s original inhabitants. Or simply relax and enjoy conversing at a mixed-generational tea party.
Rest assured, our spirits have undergone rigorous background checks and are held to the highest standards. Nothing but the very best is tolerated at Grayiron Bay.
Reservations are filling up fast, especially for our highly anticipated, 97th annual autumnal season—September thru the end of October—so make your plans now to celebrate the turning of the year at the original spirited village!
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WANTED: 666 spirits to join our award winning Autumn Festival!
Hollyoake Cove is looking for an additional 666 spirits to help make this year’s festival one for the record books. Help us take back the festival crown from stuffy old Grayiron Bay—who won last year on a technicality.
We are seeking new spectral actors for our fan favorite ‘Whodunit in the Library’ event. Guides are needed for the Main Street Haunts walking tours. And we’re also looking for spirits to help create a one of a kind experience for our first ever Seance Night. Otherworldly artisans are encouraged to sign up for a booth to showcase their wares and create souvenirs at the new crafts market.
We aim to make ours the most family friendly festival on the Haven Coast!
On a sad note, we are saying goodbye to our headless horseman, Allen Dympold. He will be staying on to train his replacement for the midnight rides through town. We wish him all the best in his retirement. All interested spirits are asked to prepare a three minute performance on horseback—bring your own costume and weapon of choice.
Due to the overwhelming popularity of last year’s festivities, we will be extending the celebration thru the first week of November. If providing some good-natured thrills and chills interests you, then come work with us—now unionized!—at Hollyoake Cove this autumn.
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A NIGHT OF A THOUSAND SPIRITS AWAITS YOU AT
GRAYIRON BAY’S 98TH ANNUAL AUTUMNAL FESTIVAL
Spend your autumn in the original village of unrivaled haunts! Frequently imitated, never surpassed. Revel in the phantasmagoria of uncanny sights and otherworldly experiences.
Enjoy our award-winning family friendly attractions by day, and experience our new eighteen and older ‘Grayiron Gothic’ by night. Get matched with a handsomely brooding ghost for a date night to remember. Attend the opening of our new dance hall with its sensational jazz band composed of history’s greatest musicians from the Southland! And for those adventurous types—experience a mild possession!*
We are delighted to announce that we’ve finally convinced the magnificent Allen Dympold, the superlative midnight rider, to join us here in Grayiron Bay to mark the end of each night’s entertainment in grand fashion.
Don’t miss out on the only autumnal celebration everyone’s talking about—last week of August thru the first week of November—on the Haven Coast!
* A signed waiver will be required for all Grayiron Gothic events.
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WANTED: GHOST-CATCHERS
The Haven Coast communities of Grayiron Bay and Hollyoake Cove seek help in re-establishing living control of their villages.
All autumn festivities have been canceled until further notice.
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J. Nathan is a speculative fiction writer living in the Pacific Northwest. She is greatly influenced by Ursula K. Le Guin and Shirley Jackson. You can usually find her out on a run through the woods or rambling about reading and writing on Bluesky @jamielnathan.bsky.social.