After years of writing about the death of cinema, I’m thrilled to report that Hollywood has been reborn. Recent blockbusters like Call Me By Your Name 2: Powered by AT&T Wireless proved that emotional depth and aggressive brand integration saved the industry. I laughed. I cried. I purchased a popcorn bucket shaped like a Motorola Razr. Movies are no longer magic—they’re better.
1. There Will Be Blood 2: Sponsored by Quest Diagnostics
Daniel Plainview is back, only this time he needs a lipid panel. It’s a film about legacy, blood, and insurance co-pays. John Cena stars as H.W. Plainview, who is now a phlebotomist, and delivers a performance that is both chilling and educational. “I drink your milkshake,” says the former wrestling star. “I drink it up, because the tests confirmed you have high cholesterol.”
2. FedEx Presents: 7EVEN the 7ECOND
What’s in the box? Spoiler alert: we never find out. That’s the FedEx guarantee.
In this twisted, logistically streamlined sequel, Morgan Freeman’s character returns to solve a series of morality murders committed via two-day delivery. Brad Pitt reprises his role as the angry detective, but now he’s undercover in a FedEx uniform, and it’s a little too tight. What at first felt like a cash grab turned into a brilliant story about sins and expedited shipping.
3. Finding Nemo 3: A NOBU Sushi Film
Pixar and NOBU have created something previously unthinkable: a profound family reunion that also makes you hungry. Nemo 3 isn’t just cinema—it’s omakase with feelings. Plus, every ticket stub gets you a free House Special Roll at participating NOBU locations. Ticket stub also unlocks access to purchase exclusive Nemo 3 Collector’s Bento Box (limit one per customer).
4. Field of Dreams 2: Fueled by Mrs. Fields Cookies
I loved every bite of this movie. It featured timeless classics like the Triple Chocolate Nibblers, White Chocolate Nibblers, and—of course—the Kevin Costner Cookie. Field of Dreams 2 asks, “If you bake it, will they pay $49.99?” The answer is yes. Order now and taste cinematic history. Due to Mrs. Fields’s dough mixing process, all products may have come in contact with nut oils and ghosts of the 1919 White Sox.
5. Million Dollar Baby Part II: A FanDuel & New York Lottery Picture
She’s fighting again. Only this time, she’s betting on herself—and playing the Powerball.
Hilary Swank returns in a soulful performance about redemption, human resilience, and gambling. Scan the QR code on the back of your ticket to score $150 in Bonus Bets (after depositing $5). Must be a new FanDuel member to participate. Offer not valid in North Carolina.
Honorable Mentions:
- No Longer Sleepless in Seattle: Powered by NyQuil
- The Sensational Sequel to The Grand Budapest Hotel (Marriott’s Revenge)
- Peanut Butter Falcon II: Presented by Smucker’s Jelly
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Don’t miss next month’s reviews, which include the highly anticipated Truman Show 2: Powered by Nest Cam, and The Devil Also Wears Gucci. Until then, keep scrolling, streaming, and buying.
~ Movie Dude ~
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Alex Dermody’s fiction has been most recently featured in Bewildering Stories and The Seattle Star. His published work can be found on Instagram @alexdermodywriting.