Recently you received a legal summons or actionable complaint, hand-delivered to you at your residence or place of employment, regarding your unpaid taxes, unpaid rent, unpaid child support, marriage dissolution, property damage, felonious assault, drug trafficking, or other indictable activity. Please take a moment to rate your delivery so that we at Gammert and Daughters Legal Summons Delivery might improve our service to you.
On a scale of 1 to 5, did the delivery occur about when you expected it? 1indicates you knew the delivery was coming, sooner or later, and you had plenty of time to grow depressed about it and take to drink or pills due to the anxiety it was causing you, 5 that you had mostly forgotten about your criminal liability by the time the summons arrived, to the extent that you hoped it had all blown over, and were shocked to find a reminder of it in your hand. 3 might indicate that you expected the summons but you still worked up a lot of righteous indignation upon actually touching it, especially if your family or coworkers witnessed the delivery or the delivery occurred at some ungodly hour like 2 a.m. Saturday morning.
On a scale of 1 to 5, rate the physical appearance of the process server. 1 indicates appropriate and professional dress, 3 a somewhat shady appearance but one basically conforming to some sort of dress code, and 5 a strong resemblance to a stalker or serial killer.
On a scale of 1 to 5, was the process server or deliverer dignified and respectful, saying only “You have been served,” or did he or she make sarcastic remarks that you felt were hurtful and inappropriate? 1 indicates they were disinterested and virtually expressionless, 4 that they ridiculed you, using such phrases as “You’re in deep doo-doo now, pal,” or “Better call Saul, loser.” 5 indicates they were actually a police officer issuing a capias and arrested you on the spot.
Which of the following best describes your emotional experience on receiving your court document?
- I understand the need for law enforcement, and acknowledge that even I am not above the law. No kings.
- Holy crap, I’m moving out of state to an unknown address under an assumed name.
- Geez-a-Lou, I’ll have to rob a bank to pay my legal bills.
- I should have bribed the server guy to “lose” it or say he couldn’t locate me.
Did the server recommend Gammert & Daughters Legal Service, available 24-7 at 1-800-999-9090? 1 means yes, 5 means no. Remember, you can avoid the hassles of most legal dealings by calling Gammert & Daughters today. For five years, Gwen Gammert, Priscilla Gammert, and I, Dan Gammert, have been providing specialized legal services including paralegal, skip tracing, and summons delivery in the Tri-State Area. You’ll be more than satisfied.
Please indicate, in 500 keystrokes or less, any improvements you’d like to see in our process serving:
Thank you, the survey is complete.
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Michael Fowler writes humor and horror in Ohio.