Welcome to the hallowed pages of Defenestration‘s February 1008 issue.
It’s coming people. A few days from now, February 29th, that great cosmic miscalculation, will rear its ugly head. How can you, the concerned citizen of the world, prevent the disasters that are sure to follow in the wake of this day that doesn’t really exist? I can’t give you a clear answer, but I can give you a hint at what NOT to do.
Back in the 1990’s scientist Dr. Franklin Oscarmire became so terrified of February 29th that he decided to save himself the trouble of experiencing it altogether. He built himself a stasis chamber of no great expense, and, the day before February 29th (that’d be the 28th, for those keeping track), Dr. Oscarmire sealed himself inside.
The details of what happened next are fuzzy, but from what I’ve gathered, Mrs. Dr. Oscarmire held a party that night, and someone spilled an entire bottle of Mr. Pibb on the stasis chamber’s power matrix. Dr. Oscarmire was found the next morning, dead from what the coroners labeled “electrocution via Pibb.” It was the 43rd documented case that year.
Anyway, we hope you enjoy this month’s spread. Five writers, three poets, a new featured artist, and a new Defenestrati strip accompany the usual smattering of Defenestration-related whatnots. You’ll find it both enjoyable and troubling, I’m sure.
—Andrew Kaye, Editor-in-Chief