“Children: Addressing the Problem at its Core,” by Brie Stimson

Nov 20th, 2007 | By | Category: Prose

The problem of children isn’t going away any time soon. It seems the more law enforcement tries to crack down, the harder it gets. Just one drive through a school zone will make the problem clear in all its repulsive reality. Last time I drove by Roosevelt Elementary I saw children on the monkey bars, ones on the swings, and I even think I saw some learning in classrooms. I don’t want to alarm people. I don’t want people to feel that they’re not safe in their own homes. As yet, the government hasn’t been able to prove for a fact that children are actually harmful, but I think we can all safely say that grownups aren’t the cause of problems such as: small clothing, children’s menus in restaurants, Lunchables, Santa Claus, the store “Limited Too,” and teachers. I also feel that they are somewhat to blame for Sesame Street. I actually like Sesame Street, but that’s not really the point. I find Elmo and Grover to be quite witty, and I feel that Oscar the Grouch has a healthy, realistic view of life. That is all I care to say about that.

When one has seen what I have seen it is easy to be cynical. The image of a laughing child with an ice cream cone and toddlers running through sprinklers in the summertime is hard to get out of one’s head. I don’t know how it can be done, but they must be stopped. We must deprive them of their core nutrients. Then maybe they will just go away. Thank God J. K. Rowling stopped writing Harry Potter. She wasn’t doing our cause any good. We must rid the world of stuffed animals, tiny shoes, and any product endorsed by a cartoon character. World, I tell you we must band together as adults and rid ourselves of the tiny, freeloading slackers who live amongst us and call themselves kids!


Brie Stimson is doing all of you a favor by writing this.

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