SIDE A
1. Hard rockin’ statement of intent
2. Slightly less rockin’ followup
3. Style/tempo shift to inform fans/critics that you aren’t a one-trick pony
4. Get back on your one-trick pony
5. Mid-tempo ballad/mini-epic (depending on available space)

“Oh, That Jason!,” despite airing for only two seasons (1953-54) has nonetheless gained a small cult following over the passing years. Hailed by critics as “horrifying,” “reprehensible” and “relentlessly depraved,” “Oh, That Jason!” was truly groundbreaking television, as evidenced by this list of highlights from its truncated run:

The Malthusian model is built on presumed failure. The assumption is that broad social programs will result in unchecked population growth, leading to inevitable disaster.

Paul! Take a lap! You can’t be napping back there! They’ll eat you alive!

To the Admissions Board of Harvard University:

This letter of intent has been written to announce my intentions to receive a four-year scholarship as your starting quarterback. While I have had a few options in the academic market, none of the community colleges or online universities have the wealth of history (and history of wealth) that Harvard’s MBA program offers.