Feeling trapped? Angry at the world? Done with everyone’s bullshit? Then come on down to ScreamFest, where the only limits are your lung capacity! Enjoy our discrete and fully sound-proofed Privacy Pods where you can let go without worrying about the consequences! Pushing down your feelings is the leading cause of anxiety, depression, cancer, heart attacks and strokes.[1] Screaming causes an increase in dopamine and endorphins. It literally makes you happy![2] Why should you suffer in silence just because your boss starts drinking at 10 AM, you have three roommates or you can’t talk to your spouse anymore? Primal scream your way to peace! Rate: $15 for 5 minutes. Complimentary access to ad-free Spotify playlists for all vibes. Add a Punching Bag Package for an additional $15. Whatever your needs, we’re happy to help you achieve the catharsis you crave! Call to reserve a Privacy Pod today!

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Chelsea Stickle lives in Annapolis, MD with her black rabbit George and a forest of houseplants. Her flash fiction appears in Monkeybicycle, The Molotov Cocktail, matchbook, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and others. Breaking Points, her debut chapbook, is forthcoming from Black Lawrence Press this fall. Read more at chelseastickle.com/stories and find her on Twitter @Chelsea_Stickle.

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[1] Study results pending.

[2] ScreamFest Inc. is not responsible for your feelings and cannot guarantee happiness. No refunds.