Billy Joe Shaver shot me twice.
Johnny Cash shot me once, but I’m pretty sure it was an accident.
Kris Kristofferson shot me but it was an arrow so it doesn’t really count.
Merle Haggard never shot me, but he did stab me a couple times,
once after a show in Bakersfield and once at my third wedding
after he caught me canoodling with his wife.
I’s also once shot by Prince but that was my gun
just handed over with safety off, I take the blame,
may his God rest his soul.
Hell of a guitar player, Prince.
Introduced me to Better Midler at the AMAs.
That woman will blow your mind.
————-
Theric Jepson has written a couple novels, both of which are funnier than whatever this is. He lives in California and will probably die there someday as well. In lieu of flowers, buy one of those novels.