The Student’s Prayer

Let my grants be bountiful,
And my meal plan be plenty.
Let my boxed wine runneth over.

Grant me sanctuary
At an empty library table,
In a tranquil and secluded corner,
That I may abide in silence
Separate from those who shalt tempt me with distraction.

Let my grades flourish
And proceed upward.
Let paid internships flow
Like milk from the cow’s teat,
That I may quit my thankless job
And also receive class credit.

Let my classes be gentle,
And my stats professor forgiving.
Lead me not into overfilled lecture halls
Where nobody adds me to the study group on Whatsapp,
And deliver me from oral presentations.

Lead me from the shadows of my bedroom
Where I keep watch over the grades center until finals are posted,
And into The Boogie’s glorious light.

Let the tunes be poppin’
In this club tonight.

…

The Perfect Shirt

When I was seven years old, my father took me to the Disney store.
I ran below the hallowed, light-up sign
And headed straight for the Aristocats table.
I was drawn in by half a headless mannequin
Wearing a sparkly, pink shirt
Decorated with my favorite character.
I stared, enraptured, at the the perfect shirt
So tastefully hugging the mannequin’s curves.

“Is that the one?” my father asked,
“Let’s try it on.”

I danced my way to the fitting room,
Clinging to my cat-plastered shirt.
I just knew that this is the shirt I’d be wearing
On the day I finally ran into the Jonas Brothers, and they’d
Fall deeply, madly in love with me.

Five minutes of struggle left me glaring
At my sparkling, pink reflection.
My flat torso could not compare
To the heavy-breasted mannequin
Who wore the same shirt across the store.

“Is that the one?” my father’s voice floated through the plastic door.

“I dunno,”
Came my glum reply,
“I guess it looks better on people with boobies.”

————

Kara Richter is a recent Professional and Technical Writing graduate from Missouri. She was forced to take some creative writing electives in college, and now she prefers writing poetry over software documentation.