“ManToLoveNow63,” by Kim Horner

Aug 20th, 2021 | By | Category: Poetry

GravityGhost posts a photo of himself
in his bathroom mirror looking
excited in his tight gray sweatpants
MrRightNow doesn’t date women as old as me
even though I’m not as old as him
RayBan wants a “nasty girl”
but probably not a Nasty Woman

NateJ63 does not like implants
which rules me out since
I had reconstruction after breast cancer
at least I’m not too old for That70sguy,
a “cub looking for a cougar”
NiceGuy287 will text me after we meet that we are not a match
Made4U65 will date me for six weeks then disappear like a ghost
Fool4Luv will be late because he was putting price tags on items for his garage sale

This is what it’s like to swim with the other last fish in the sea
the leftovers in the back of the fridge
the frequent flyers of MatchOKCupidPlentyofFisheHarmony
everyone has a story
about a happy couple who met online
who caught The One in the dating cesspool
where everyone
who loves walks on the beach
and sunsets
and showing off the fish they caught
and their boats
and cars and motorcycles

I am the one left standing after another round of online musical chairs
but the music never stops for long
there’s always another new profile, new message or alert
JimboJimmyJoe just sent a wink
and Diami58 messaged that he hoped “a smile crossed my lips today”
how could it not when just like that, there’s a notification of a message from ThatBoy, who says:
“You look like an awesome step mother. Would you be my pretend step mom?”


Kim Horner is author of Probably Someday Cancer: Genetic Risk and Preventative Mastectomy (The University of North Texas Press, 2019). Her work also has appeared in The Dallas Morning NewsSeventeen, Minnow, Weevil Pond, and Parhelion. She is pursuing an MFA in creative writing from The University of Arkansas at Monticello.

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