he went peacefully
in the early hours
succumbing to
erectile dysfunction
his final request was
a last sponge bath
from the attractive nurse
some of the mourners
whispered that the illness
was hereditary
others talked of his heroic battle
against the disease
trying 51 separate medications
in the final weeks
not to mention the penile implant
and the electro-stimulation
he is survived by three virile sons
to whom he bequeaths
his entire pornography collection
in hopes that they will be spared
his lonely fate
the deceased requests that
in lieu of flowers
contributions be made to
the ED Foundation
dedicated to finding a cure
for this terrible condition

in his inbox are 600 e-mails
all asking
have you received our shipment yet?

————

Art Heifetz teaches ESL to refugees in Richmond, Virginia. Now in his retirement years, he can’t stop telling stories, 150 of which have been published in 11 countries, 2 of them imaginary. He won second place in an international competition in Israel and was, like everyone else, nominated for a Pushcart. See polishedbrasspoems.com for more of his work.