Ponies Are Magic (And Unicorns!)

Jun 20th, 2011 | By | Category: Columns

Editors’ Note: Whenever we can pull Faeluver (real name unknown) away from whatever the hell it is she does all day, we ask her to write us a column about fandom. With all the buzz surrounding the new My Little Pony Friendship is Magic cartoon on the Hub–and its age-and-gender defying following–we asked Faeluver to give us her unvarnished opinion of the show. Turns out she’s quite the fan herself.

I am totally ALL ABOUT MLP-FiM! Have you seen it yet? It. Is. AMAZERBEAM.

Remember the 80s? I don’t because of hypnotherapy, but I’m pretty sure I was all about My Little Pony then, because they glitter and have pretty hair and also they were ponies. And now all of that is true AGAIN, but, like, in MODERN TIMEZ. Some people say that remaking cartoons from the 80s is lame, but those people are POOP because no one hates ponies. Or unicorns. Or pegasuseses. Or OMG COMBINATION OF THE TWO!!!1!!

I heart this show so much you guys, for real.

I made a My Little Pony fan character! She’s a unicorn pony, and her name is Sparklenoose! She would be TOTALLY AWESOME in the show. I’m not really good at art, so I asked Eileen to draw her since Eileen likes My Little Pony, too!

Eileen totally drew this. I know because I watched her do it!


Then I got Andrew to draw her for me because he likes to pretend he’s a professional artist! HE IS A PRINCE. Also I paid him.

Andrew totally drew this. Also, this caption feature is AWESOME.

So this is EXACTLY what Sparklenoose looks like. She’s super cool because she doesn’t take shit from ANYONE (Even her MOM, jeez!). She totally killed a man with her Fell Powers, but she’s GOOD. Totally swear she’s a good pony, y’all. That guy she killed? Made fun of her braces in 6th grade. (Her teeth are super straight now. “Give me some applez, yo!” LOLZ.) Sparklenoose doesn’t speak much, but when she does she’s all pithy and clever, and all the other ponies TOTES RESPECT THAT and don’t make fun of her for reading a METRIC TON of fan fiction. She also likes to write sonnets in the voice of Poe, if Poe was a horse. (She doesn’t let anyone else read them though because she’s got MAD RESPECT FOR THE CRAFT and isn’t in it for the attention, you know? She lets me read them though ’cause we’re friends and she values my opinions!)

Other things Sparklenoose likes:
-Twilight (but only ironically, DUH)
-Flight of the Conchords (Team Jemaine!)
-That one fanfiction I wrote that combined Twilight with Flight of the Conchords. Sparklenoose left me, like SEVEN comments on that thing when I posted it on my Livejournal. SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND EVAAAAH!!

Things Sparklenoose doesn’t like:
-That guy she killed

Anywhichawayz, My Little Pony is awesome, and Sparklenoose is awesome, and I hope you guys love them both as much as I do. OMG SHOULD I GET A PONY TATTOO?!!1?!!?


Faeluver, Defenestration’s Fancologist, is presently writing slash fiction featuring characters from Kellogg’s cereal or something. And they’re vampires. She occasionally falls asleep dreaming about being cradled in Tony the Tiger’s strong, muscular arms, and then he bites her and turns her into a weretiger so they can have babies.

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