Steve Elkham
I Believe The Children Are Our Future, Feed Them Well, And Then Throw A Donner Party Later On…
There was a pivotal point in my life where I realized that not all compliments were sincere, and often were people just shining sunlight up my ass for the social convention of “just being nice.” My mom would be the first to unintentionally reveal this. She was a very nurturing person, who consistently took me [...]
Jizzkickers: Sky Mall Has What You Don’t Need
Sky Mall! The perfect magazine for those of us who forgot to pack a book, or have to put our Kindle or iPad away because the EMF generated by such devices will cause the universe to divide by 0 thus bringing an end to existence as we know it, but not before the plane we’re [...]
The Garfield Effect
With the advent of the internet, people now have a new medium to “get discovered” on, hence my column… In the sea of talent, there are dim bulbs who take Edison’s quote of “Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration,” and focus on the 90% to pump out crap as if King Midas [...]
Getting High Off The Sound Of Music
So. Kids have once again found another back door to getting “high” because they can’t stand being under their parents ever vigilant, controlling thumbs in an attempt to make them more perfect than those snotty Joneses kids—that and the fact that most kids can’t stand each other (or pretty much anything that doesn’t involve themselves). [...]
Badvertising
Our culture has a love-hate relationship with commercials. They run the gamut from catchy to annoying to sexy to meme-tastic. Some however, are just so mind-numbly insipid, that they go down in infamy, and end up on blogs devoted to asinine advertising. Thankfully I have traded in my cable (and lost the cable companies firm [...]
Lets De Friends!
The fact that my word processor has underlined one word in this opening with the red-line of “No! You idiot!!”, should be some indication that “unfriend” is not a real word. Oxford (in their divine intelligence) has, however, decided otherwise. I have issues with this. Yes, language is constantly changing based on societal standards, but really… unfriend?? It [...]
Dante’s Inferred, No?
I do a lot of gaming. It keeps me from doing stupid things, like going out on weekends and spending money on excessively priced drinks. As a gamer I fall into one of two categories: the frat boy (the ones who actually buy EA’s sports clones, and play games with bloodlust and mass destruction), or [...]
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