“ALL SHIPS ARE RECOMMENDED TO TAKE EXTREME CAUTION WHEN TRAVELLING NEAR EARTH. … THE INHABITANTS OF THIS PLANET ARE WIDELY KNOWN TO BE THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE CREATURES IN THE SECTOR. … ALSO WORTHY OF NOTE IS THE HUMAN’S GENERAL LACK OF A HEALTHY PARTY-DOWN ATTITUDE, AND THEIR ALMOST NON-EXISTENT SENSE OF FUNK.”

— Instruction Manual, ToeJam & Earl

crash landed
………….stranded…on Earth: “The most

………….insane planet in the galaxy.”
me & you: …..riding elevators

aliens on the come up—outcasts
………….in shades, gold medallions, high-

………….tech hi-tops, we are
Hip Hop……….jammin to jazz-funk

searching for Rapmaster Rocket pieces
………….scattered………displaced………lost in

………….danger, robbing sun will
steal   daylight from dreams

to return home: that fertile world
………….of purple……….more familiar

………….than any present found on
these stratified islands—don’t push

me, i’m too close to the………..man-eating
………….mailbox, phantom ice cream truck, & other

………….head-hunters called Earthlings: destructive by
nature & dead…set on forcing us to
…………
…………
…………
…………………………………………fall the funk off.
————

Russell Nichols is a speculative fiction writer and endangered journalist. Raised in Richmond, California, he got rid of all his stuff in 2011 to live out of a backpack with his wife, vagabonding around the world ever since. Look for him at russellnichols.com.