Living an Authentic Life: Job Search Guidelines

By Renee Prince

What does it mean to live an authentic life? Martin Heidegger, the German philosopher who was maybe a little Nazi-ish and definitely existentialist-ish actually first coined the term "authentic life" as the only proper response to the uncomfortable knowledge of our inevitable death. Today's various namby-pamby New Age definitions of an "authentic life" have made a mockery of the original meaning, with references to following your
bliss, and even your personal relationship with Jesus Christ. There's no mention of anything "uncomfortable" or even our own inevitable death and decay. Those happy New Age fluff-heads sure manage to keep those blinders on!

Well, today we are going to tackle the truly authentic "authentic life" the way our existentialist forefathers intended. The first, most important thing we can do in our quest for authenticity is to look our own death in the face. Sure, it's not pretty.  However, once we realize that sooner or later we are going to be stomped out of existence like the butt of a hand-rolled cigarette under the boot heel of a drunken cowboy, we will be on our way to living a happier, more fulfilled life.

No longer will we be bound by the constraints of a society bent on deluding itself into believing that life has real meaning or any transcendental purpose. Instead, we will, as authentically-living, angst-ridden existentialists choose to do and be only those things we
honestly feel are important to us. It's all about honesty. Honest, you're going to die. What do you honestly want to be doing with your finite existence?  Can you honestly say you want to spend any part of that time working at a real job?

By now, uncomfortably aware of your unavoidable demise, you are ready to live an authentic life. This means you are going to be honest in your answers, and honest with others, probably for the first time in your life. I know it doesn't make sense. But does your own impending, most likely hideous and painful death make any sense? No, of course not. There is a bright side to all of this honesty and authenticity, however.

You get to do what you want, first and foremost. Yes, you are going to be true to yourself first, because if you are simply "being" in a meaningless existence soon to be followed by an even more meaningless non-existence, the least you can do is give yourself a break. Let your hair down, make anytime "me time", speak your mind, follow your dream! Just as you've always suspected, it really is all about you!

Unfortunately, even in the most authentic life, there comes a time when you need bus fare or money for nachos and a jumbo soda. A time when you need shelter and some kind of covering for your nakedness that doesn't date back to the Reagan Administration.  Honestly, you need to get a job.

But how to go about it authentically? First, start your search at a "Job Fair", where many potential employers are gathered under one roof for an entire day. That way you can pick and choose from many potential drone-like career options. You are the selector; you are the "decider"—not them. Because this is not about them; this is all about the authentic you.

The following guidelines will help you to stay honest, and stay truthful as you go about your search for a job that will not compromise your authentic life.  

Job Search Guidelines for an Authentic Life:

You and Your Potential Employers

1. Don't dress up—be honest, be yourself. Wear exactly what you wear when lying around the house watching TV or staring off into space. Holes in dirty tee shirt and furry slippers are okay!

2. Don't bother to smile when you introduce yourself. It's too much trouble, and you'll look as if you really want the job.

3. When they ask if you've had any experience, tell them the truth: "Hey, it's none of your goddamn business."
 
4. When they ask what you can bring to their company, tell them the truth: "Probably nothing. I might even be a drain on your resources. Who knows?"

5. When they ask for your opinion on their business, tell them the truth: "I think you're in real trouble if you have to set up a booth at a place where people like me will ask for a job."

6. Regarding the above, remember: you're not really "asking for a job", you're "waiting for a job offer", AND you will only accept the job offer that meets your standards.

7. Set your standards immediately. For example, you probably won't want to come in more than once or twice a week, so let them know that. Also, you honestly don't want to have to answer to anyone, so your position must be at the absolute apex of the company. This will save everyone a lot of grief.

8. And last but certainly not least: Remember, the most important driving force in your life is your own authentic hidden agenda—the job always comes second!

Wishing You Great Success

As You Face the Anxiety of Your Finite Existence