"Talking Hedge."

"Seldom Asked Questions (SAQ)."

"Crime Report."

"Further Translations from the Corporate."

Correction & Retraction

By Jon Alan Carroll


The "Media Matters Not" column from our last issue contained several errors and improper characterizations. As follows:
     
-Barbie Flanders, a political columnist for the Daily-Republican Advertiser, is an accomplished professional, not a "bottle-blonde dribbling buckets of right-wing froth."
     
-Ms. Flanders' computer was not replaced three times because of "excessive drool." There is no "special plastic cover" on her computer screen. Daily-Republican Advertiser computer technicians are not "sick to death of draining her keyboard."
     
-Clinically speaking, Ms. Flander’ worldview is not a "delusional matrix." Her personal motto is not, and never has been, "You deserve a psychotic break today."  
     
-Finally, the TV tabloid show Real News is not planning a segment entitled "Lunatic Political Commentators" in which Ms. Flanders is "prominently featured." Although Real News is planning on broadcasting such a segment, Ms. Flanders is only mentioned briefly.
     
-Elsewhere in the same "Media Matters Not" column, journalists employed by the Futon Advertiser Weekly are neither "brave laptop warriors" nor "minimum-wage corporate lapdogs." There is no such thing as "Bitch Journalism" and, if there were, Weekly journalists would not practice it. Moreover, the suggestion that Weekly journalists "look at their paychecks" if they want an "excellent example of sarcasm" was harsh and unfair.
     
-The Futon Advertiser Weekly is not a "tedious, provincial ad-rag."
     
-Local TV reporters are not "a pack of bickering idiots, hired for their hair."
     
We regret these errors and unfair characterizations.
     
As always, our policy is to cover the news as accurately and honestly as our advertisers and corporate overlords permit.