“Scrabble” and “M F’ing A”

By Megan Roth

Scrabble

QUIZ.
I knew that Cory would go
For that triple-letter-score with the Z and
I nodded him shut because it was
Fiftysomething points, and he wanted to
Say the score out loud to me and Jada, the cat, before
Swigging his Miller High Life and
Scribbling down his victory.

JYRAEXP.
I stared down my letters with a poker face,
Desperate for the perfect sixy-four point
Word that would beat his ass.
I poured over the grid with narrow eyes
Searching for what made the most sense.

PJYXRA.  YAX  PAJER.
Jada loomed near the board.
Paws out, she scouted our fixed faces,
Waiting for her opportunity to pounce,
Sending tiny wooden tiles diving
Into the faded red thrift store sofa cushions.

AXE.
Double word score.  Jada grumbled and
I sat back and picked three new letters.
Cory counted twenty-four points and I recounted
And then exited to grab another beer.

I stopped in the doorway and turned
In time to see his face twist into a wicked grin.
He placed an S on the end of my AXE and
Built SIZE down the column, landing on
The blood red triple-word-score.  Thirty nine.

Jada yelped as I scooped her up with one hand
And slung her across the board.  Triple-cat score!
Letters exploded and the AXE's and ADZ's flew
Left and right until the room
Lay still in fearful silence.


Cory won the game, with a score of
A Whole Lot to Barely Any,
And I let him gloat while I
Went to the dictionary and loaded up on
New rounds of ammo,
Memorized qophs and enzyme,
Before inviting him to play again.

M F'ing A

Dear Creative Writing Programs,
I have applied to many excellent
Graduate schools this year, and each
School has been remarkably competitive.

Due to the large number of programs to
Which I have applied,
I regret that I am unable to comment
Individually on each program's rejection.

Clicking "Refresh!" on my
Email box each day, several
Hundred times per
Hour has been a riveting and didactic experience.

I appreciate your interest in my manuscript
And sincerely hope that you can work out
Alternative plans for the academic year
Of 2007.

Sincerely, Megan Elizabeth
Roth, application I.D. number
10196740, Poetry.

I was born in 1984 in the small town of Decatur, Alabama, home of the Hot Air Balloon Festival.  I now live in Birmingham Alabama with my cat and my significant other.  I play Ultimate Frisbee and paint scathing watercolors in my downtime.  I have a degree in political science.  When I was five years old, I sneezed quite hard and dislocated my vertebrae.  Things have never been the same since.