Diplomat This

By Mitchell Metz


Africa, you are a stupid country!
North Dakota is smarter
than you. You got a ton

of natural resources. You’re abundant!
So what’s the problem? Do you enjoy
being all poor and needy? UNICEF?

Even your dust
floats around the world,
and wrecks everything,
according to National Geographic.
Examples: coral reefs & satellites.

Your dust is red. China’s dust
is yellow and fucks things up, too.
But China is tough & Communist
& annoying. Not to mention rice.
You are just stupid.

I know the names
of most of your capitals. You don’t even know
the names of my cats. Mogadishu!
Yamoussoukro! Nice names, if you got marbles
in your mouth. More people should learn your capitals.
Then we could help you

rename them. Hey, Egypt and all you Arab guys?
You should secede. I’d be embarrassed
to live in Africa. South Africa’s OK,
I guess. I know a lady at the Y
from Capetown. She has a cool accent.

Long ago Mitchell Metz could run like the dickens. His mom called him "The Blonde Bomber." Now he can barely keep up with the melville and his wife calls him "Cue Ball." But he has met Michael Dukakis. No one can take that away from him.  His work has appeared pretty much all over the place. Really. That's because he has discovered the secret of great writing. Here it is:  First think stuff up. Then write it down.  Did Mitchell Metz mention that, as a true poet, he believes "everything is interconnected?"