" I love you. Seriously. "

Jet Pack Lady

By Mike Brown

I've seen a million ladies

I've seen a million girls

But there's one lady I know

That really rocks my world

She doesn't have a perfect face

Or the nicest rack.

But there's one thing that she DOES have -

A really sweet jet pack.

Her jet pack's really shiny,

Metallic and smooth.

It glints in the sun.

Everytime she moves

She flies all around with it

Oh so fancy free.

Oh, why, jet pack lady

Won't you frickin be with me?

Jet pack lady

I need to get laid-y

So I was thinkin' maybe

We'd make a baby

So don't be shady

Let's stop the charade-y

I fuckin love you

Jet pack lady

She flies through the air with it

All around town

Her jet pack's the best

Transportation around.

I see her strap it on

To her skin, so soft.

And I wish I could mount her

As she's about to take off.

I get so nervous

Every time she is near

I want to ask her

But I'm so filled with fear.

I may never have her;

My free-flyin' baby...

But I'll always adore

My jet pack lady.

Jet pack lady

I need to get laid-y

So I was thinkin' maybe

We'd make a baby

So don't be shady

Let's stop the charade-y

I fuckin love you

Jet pack lady

On Mike Brown: He was born in 1986 to convicted baby thieves. Actually, it's unclear as to whether his parents actually gave birth to him or if they stole him, but they assured him that they'd given up the baby stealing racket long before '86. Anyway, he had a childhood, where he mostly played video games and went to school from time to time. After his childhood was over, he mostly played video games and went to work from time to time. Then, one day, he had to write a biography of himself for Defenestration magazine. It wasn't that good.