The Bush Painting

Painting by R. Hutcheson

Interview by Luigi Fairbanks

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This month we present a painting charged with political implications, created by Mr. R. Hutcheson. I forced the newsletter robot to contact Mr. Hutcheson and have him come down to my office at Defenestration Central HQ, where I interviewed him over coffee and apple fritters.

Luigi: Thanks for taking the time to speak with me today.

Hutcheson: Oh, the pleasure’s all mine. Sorry about being late. They didn’t tell me that your “office” was actually one of the dumpsters behind the building. I spent over an hour wandering around looking for the “Fairbanks” cubicle until a monkey in a derby pointed me in the right direction.

Luigi: Well, it’s a common mistake. They move me around a lot. Last week they put me in the space between the water cooler and Genevieve’s desk. Anyway, your painting. Can you tell me why you painted it?

Hutcheson: It was a special art project online. I put the picture on my website, and sent a link to it all over the web. With a lot of work on my part, I got 8,500 people to look at the painting in 10 days.

Luigi: You should share your promotional success with Eileen upstairs. She worked her ass off for weeks trying to promote us, and 10,000 e-mails and 43 “favors” later, we had 10 hits.

Hutcheson: I’m more attractive than Eileen. At least I assume that’s the case, after what you just told me.

Luigi: Shhh. She has spies. Trash spies. Remember the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock? Her spies are like that, only smellier. But back to your painting. Did it show up anywhere else?

Hutcheson: Well, I was feeling proud of myself when later on the 10th day I found out that KCAL 9 news in Los Angeles was going to feature a wall full of my paintings on the 10 O' Clock News that evening, as part of a story on the gallery. The paintings looked really cool on TV. It actually ended up that over 3. 5 million people probably viewed my paintings on television in less than one minute. 

Luigi: And after you appear in Defenestration, that’ll be like, 20 more people viewing it!

Hutcheson: Exactly. Which is why my next project will be to scam my way onto TV again with my paintings.

Luigi: You could always rob a bank, wearing your paintings!

Hutcheson: Uhh….

Luigi: Or block traffic, using your paintings as the road block!

Hutcheson: What? No!

Luigi: How did you get President Bush to sit still long enough to paint him? Did you have to tie him to a chair or something? Personally I would have stapled his clothes to the wall, with him in them, and painted like that.

Hutcheson: Are you an idiot? I painted it from memory!

Luigi: If I painted him from memory, it would look like a chimpanzee.

Hutcheson: I don’t think you’re really a professional interviewer. I think I’d like to go.

Luigi: Well, could you leave me with a cool quote before you flee in terror?

Hutcheson: Uhh… "My art is like a pretty little girl who smiles at you, and when you
smile back and bend down to talk to her, she kicks you in the shins."

Luigi: Great! Don’t forget your coat!

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R. Hutcheson was born on a circus train somewhere in the Midwest. His mother trained the big cats, and his father was a chimney sweep and circus roustabout. An accident at their family compound led to the formation of their infamous Black Tiger Act, in which a 5 year old R. would enter a cage filled with 12 Black Tigers. While the crowd screamed in terror, R. Hutcheson would wash them down with soap and water to reveal them as regular tigers.
His website: www.rhutcheson.com