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Wooden Teeth Picture by My
Eklund Text by Luigi Fairbanks ____________________
Luigi: For months now
I’ve been trapped under a concrete tube somewhere in the Defenestration HQ
subbasement, where my current office is located. Recently rescued by Cedric, our
building’s ratcatcher, I’m back on the job and interviewing people like a
good Defenestration staff writer should! This month I had the pleasure of
speaking with My Eklund, who has drawn an unusual picture of a man with wooden
teeth. Hello, My! My: Hello, Luigi. Is
it always so dark down here? And why does it smell… rotten…? I left a tomato
sandwich under a radiator once by accident, and it smelled kind of like this. Do
you even have a radiator down here? Luigi: Now, My, I’m
the one doing the interview… My: Of course. I know.
But I just thought that— Luigi: “Wooden
Teeth.” An interesting bit of artistry. My: …I got the idea
from a Seinfeld episode. The one when Elaine tells Jerry about a dream she had,
where Jerry “had these wooden teeth.” So I drew a man with wooden teeth. Luigi: And the bear
costume? My: No idea where that
came from. Luigi: It really is a
very nice bear costume. My: Thank you. Luigi: You didn’t
model it off of anything, did you? My: Not at all. Drew
it from nothing. Luigi: Are you sure?
Because it reminds me exactly of a
bear costume I had when I was in college. I wore it to all of my creative
writing classes. They called me “Luigi the Bearman,” and my fellow students
would laugh and feed me honey and berries, and when I graduated they wrapped my
diploma around a salmon. It’s good to have a gimmick in college, understand? My: I… guess so… Luigi: What I’m
getting at, My, if that’s even your real
name, is that my precious bear costume was stolen by someone on a moped on
my trip to northern Europe. That wouldn’t be you,
would it? My: Of course not!
Don’t be silly! Luigi: Admit it! It
was you! I want my bear costume! My: But I don’t have
it! Luigi: Luigi the
Bearman SMASH! (Editor’s note: This
is where the interview abruptly ends. Cedric the ratcatcher found the tape on
the floor of Luigi’s office. We don’t know whether My is safe or not, and
most of the Defenestration staff say
that Luigi’s been seen on the roof recently, sulking and sucking honey out of
a bottle.) ____________________ My Eklunds biography
is as follows: “Well... My name is My Eklund. I'm 19 and live in Sundsvall
Sweden. I have been drawing "seriously" for about a year. I have just
finished 3 year of art school, and I will soon be cleaning hotel rooms, yay!” Luigi Fairbanks has been a largely unrecognized staff writer at Defenestration since the magazine was first forged in the fires of the magical volcano Galmigulax. |
(c) Defenestration Magazine, 2005
