Posts Tagged ‘ XV.II ’

Defenestration: August 2018

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

It’s August, and that means Defenestration!

You see this little guy? He’s popped up in the header this month as well. Just trying some new things to spice up the place a little bit. Remember the building we had up there the past several years? Eileen always hated it, so she told me to change it or she’d make my life miserable.



“Fish Out of Water,” by James Dupree

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

There’s a fish on my desk and it’s weirding me out. It’s just sitting there. Where did this thing come from? How could it have possibly gotten on my desk? The damn thing isn’t even cooked! It’s not baked, or sautéed, or pan fried, or pan broiled, or grilled, or poached, or deep fried, or prepared in any way that would be beneficial to me. It’s just raw, and not in a creative or delicious way, like sushi. Raw!



“Resistentialism,” by Brooke Boveri

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

It started when Walt’s wife, Eve, left him. After she moved out, there was nobody around to push it back under the desk. Walt had never understood the importance of pushing it back under the desk. While Eve did so religiously, one of its first thoughts was that she had probably not understood the importance of that, either. All she wanted was a tidy room and to stop falling over it. Even though Walt rarely sat in it, he had an inexplicable tendency to leave it out of its place. Another one of its first thoughts was how much it would miss tripping Eve.



“The Goddess’s Resignation,” by Laurie Brown-Pressly

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

I read through the company-wide email and my hands tremble. Although I recognize the entire middle section as my work, I read it through four more times to be sure. My work has Reginald Douchebag O’Donald’s name on the by-line. Then, I remembered. Our Thursday evening meeting ran long. I’d grown weary of Reginald’s leering and his double entendres, and I was ready to go home. While our team was waiting for our boss to approve a draft, Reginald asked to borrow my laptop for a last minute change to his fantasy football roster; his computer wasn’t connecting to the internet. Sure, I said, and slid the machine across the table hoping this would keep him distracted until the boss returned. How could I have been so naïve? Now he has used my work to get the promotion.



“Inside the Box,” by Hayleigh Santra

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Man walks by carrying a box wrapped in tin foil. It’s impossible to see what’s inside.

S: What if he’s carrying a human head in there?

H: It’s a bunch of butterflies.

S: It’s a gecko.



“A Short Temper For Tall Tales,” by Michael Augustine Dondero

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Lunar Base Commander Raines reporting to Houston. I’m not sure what you witnessed on your end, but we’ve got a bit of an issue up here.

I know this is going to sound fantastical but here goes:

I’m fairly certain that Command Module Pilot Aikman is a werewolf.



“Dental Imprint,” by Ben Niespodziany

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Before I departed from the dentist’s office,
the doctor asked me if I wanted to get an imprint
of my teeth to have on file, an impression
as part of their ongoing collection.



“The Cyclops as Art Critic,” by Sarah Henry

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Who needs two eyes
when the show is dull
and the right people go?



Two Poems by Matt Mason

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

It’s so America,
so nineteen fifties,
so Main Street nostalgic, so
Karl-Marx’s-brain-would-explode-by-the-time-he-hit-the-churro-cart capitalistic.



“Ode to a Corkscrew,” by Marcia J. Pradzinski

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

O, corkscrew—
You’re supposed to be easier,
easier than the one with
bird wings that press down,
and pull the cork up,