mix 2 parts anxiety 1 heap ice cream 4 ounces tequila. shake vigorously. (the drink, not yourself.) repeat until you shake vigorously. ———— Richard Lighthouse is a contemporary writer and poet. He holds an M.S. from Stanford University. His work has been published in: The Penwood Review, West Hills Review, Mudfish, and many others worldwide.
Somebody left me a lot of money in Nigeria. Drugs are cheaper through the mail. From Canada. Love is just a click away. Someone is waiting to meet me. My perfect mate is waiting for me! But I really should enlarge my penis. Jesus saved. Now I can too. On my mortgage. But time is
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The Toad One night in the spring of 1887, a strange happening shocked the inhabitants of Crockcaster County, England. An entire village was completely destroyed by crushing, apparently by some as yet unidentifiable species of giant toad. Professor Hepple Prinkle has recently made available diary accounts as taken down by himself, contemporaneously with the events.
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He sits alone, eating his lunch with rapid, determined motions. Once one bite of food has been thoroughly chewed, his fingers fly up with another morsel, wasting no time in useless swallowing and digesting. Dainty sips are taken from the clear liquid in his glass, which holds a single straw; the ketchup bottle has been
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I consider myself a man of my word. Someone you can count on. Someone who will be there for you. So, when I heard that some of you had taken my words and actions out of context and misunderstood my original intentions, well, I was crestfallen. It was never my intention to slander, defame, or
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