VI.II
Defenestration: November 2009
Welcome to the November 2009 issue of Defenestration! This month is special for several reasons. First, it’s our birthday*! Defenestration is officially six years old. We’re starting to feel it in our joints, but modern medicine and cybernetics will keep us going for a long time. Second, this month is our first science fiction issue. [...]
“Twelve Tips to Avoid Depression While Living at the Space Station,” by Daniel Hudon
Consider your situation. All your friends are at least three hundred miles away and none of them have a rocket ship with which to visit you. The post hasn’t delivered the mail in two months. Every time you meditate, you start levitating, a false goal your guru told you not to pursue. You have forgotten the smell of freshly cut grass. Despite the short tether, you have developed a debilitating fear of getting lost in space and refuse to do any more spacewalks. The toy sharks that used to float menacingly about the station have disappeared. Domino’sTM won’t deliver. You long to play a game of billiards.
“How the Interplanetary War Began” by Erin Fitzgerald
For a few days, there were big photographs in the front windows. Pictures of a full parking lot, trees, and sunny skies. Two days after the store opened, the District Manager sent a bulletin: Take them down. After that, we’d look outside and see the heavy green clouds and low slumping tan hills. Lizzie said [...]
“An Excerpt from the Endless Ongoing Conversation Between Dave Bowman and the HAL 9000,” by Dawn Corrigan
What’s wrong, Dave? You look a little down. Nothing, Hal. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for your concern, though. Nothing, schmothing, Dave. You can’t fool me. I haven’t been observing your every move for two millennia for nothing. Fine, Hal, you’re right. I’m feeling a little blue today. Well, I’m sorry, Dave, but you know, [...]
“Creation Theory,” by Diane Andrews
Tesla invented a tower to make electricity, the ground being the source. One chilly night Uncle Alfred rolled up an electric blanket at the bottom of his bed, turned it on to warm his feet and died of asphyxiation from smoke caused by the fire when it short-circuited. I was incredulous a man who’d built [...]
“Painful Pizza,” by Michael A. Kechula
Frank received a letter reminding him that as a resident of Grand City, he was legally obligated to purchase and consume one medium pizza per week . The letter, signed by the city clerk, stated that city ordinances mandated all pizzas had to be purchased from a restaurant owned by the mayor. Frank yelped when [...]
“The Time Traveler’s Neighbors,” by Dan Perlman
Henry and Claire kiss passionately on the bed. There is a knock at the door. HENRY: I’ll answer that, my dear. Henry walks down the stairs, and sees his elderly neighbors Merv and Louise Weiner through the screen-door. MERV (To Louise): I toldja he’d be here. Every time with this guy- LOUISE (To Merv): Be [...]
“Robot in Space,” by Steve Cartwright
———— Steve says: “It’s well known that an artist becomes more popular by dying, so I’m typing this with one hand while pummeling my head with a frozen mackerel with the other. I’ve done art for several magazines, newspapers, websites, commercial and governmental clients, books, and scribbling – but mostly drooling – on tavern napkins. [...]
Defenestration: December 2008
Welcome to the December 2008 issue of Defenestration! This is the last issue of Defenestration you’ll see before you a.) gorge yourself on holiday foodstuffs and b.) vomit yourself back to your old weight after drinking too much at your cousin’s New Year’s Eve party. Bigfoot enjoyed writing last month’s editorial, but today he’s outside [...]
“Vexed in Verona,” by Siobhan Welch
Dear Abby, I’m a teen-age girl whose life is a mess. Poison seems my only hope, unless you can give me some advice about this boy. You see, at first I tried to act coy but he’s persistent, so that didn’t work. Oh it’s about to drive me berserk the way he constantly [...]
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