“Vexed in Verona,” by Siobhan Welch

Dear Abby, I’m a teen-age girl whose life is a mess.
Poison seems my only hope, unless

you can give me some advice about this boy.
You see, at first I tried to act coy
 
but he’s persistent, so that didn’t work.
Oh it’s about to drive me berserk
 
the way he constantly recites poetry!
(Dead men’s words just don’t excite me).
 
One [...]