The Classic 

A babysitter is staying over at a client’s house when she gets a phone call. “I’m going to kill you,” a strange voice on the other end of the line says. She tries to ignore it, but she gets another phone call. “I’m going to kill you,” the voice tells her again. She calls the police and tells them about the threatening calls. The police officer promises to run a trace to find out where the strange phone calls are coming from. 

“Oh my god!” the officer says, suddenly. “The calls are coming from inside the house! Get out! Get out now!” 

But there was no reply… 

1. People you barely know, never think about, who always send you cards.

[standard card greeting – no handwritten note]

The Xs

From the team that brought you What to Expect When You’re Expecting comes a new, comprehensive guide for women at that magical mid-life stage: What to Expect When You’re Expecting Nothing At All.

French toast, also known as pain perdu, or lost pain, is a time-honored staple of frugal French housewives and househusbands (maris de maison) everywhere. It consists of stale bread that even le chien refused, lovingly bathed in egg and milk and fried in something called a poêle. It is then dusted with cinnamon and hung on the wall as decoration.

Do you remember how I was telling you about my piano teacher? Mrs. Haley was an old lady with white hair, glasses on a string, a Boston Terrier named Jerry and a house that smelled of old upholstery and stale coffee. Just the smell walking in used make my heart sink. That, and knowing that I hadn’t practiced.