prose. V.X
“On William Butler Yeats”, by Sean Raune
1. Yeats walks into a room backwards and turns slowly. 2. Yeats likes the suspense of the thing. 3. Upon turning, Yeats will say, “Hi, fuckers!” and you will wave. You always wave. 4. Yeats, upon doing it with a woman for the first time, insists that she thereafter call him “Butters”. 5. At various [...]
“Hot Air”, by Diane Gallant
The life of a balloonist is a life of adventure, and as I have the stout heart of an adventurer, I have chosen this life above any other. Where other men desire simple comfort or mere wealth, I prefer to experience many and varied wonders from a thousand feet in the air. I have seen [...]
“Astrology for the Bitter”, by Jon Alan Carroll
Aries (March 21-April 19): The manuscript you toiled over for five grueling years is now being returned by a bored receptionist. Give up. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’re having these dark thoughts and this tightness in your gut. To save money, you’ve cut down on little luxuries like cable TV and feelings of self-worth. Gemini [...]
“Cult-O-Rama®”, by J.D. Riso
Are you tired of getting no recognition for the superior being that you are? Can’t shake the feeling that you were born to dominate the masses? We have the answer for you! Cult-O-Rama® is the one stop shop to getting in touch with your inner omnipotent guru. In these uncertain times, humanity is ripe for [...]
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