Prose VI.VI
“An ‘E-mail’ from the Amish,” by Jimmy Chen
Hello, people of the ’internet!’ We are completely blown away here; had no idea how many ’e-mails’ were in our ’inbox.’ 928,391. That is just crazy! Our Commissioner of Contemporary Culture informed us that someone had created a ’hotmail account’ for us in 1999. That’s ages ago! That’s when we were still churning our own [...]
“The Passion of the Christ(iansen!),” by Jesus Christiansen
Sometimes, when I sit and really think about it, I realize I’m a lot like Jesus. Not in the “I’m going to preach about love and peace to people who won’t listen in order to help the world” sense. More like, in the sense of, “Here I am, I’m not going to change, I’m here [...]
“Wheelie,” by Eric Suhem
The wheelchair was loaded with cabbages. It was electric and moved along the sidewalks of town, apparently on its own. Some people found its appearance disturbing, but most had learned to get used to it, some even affectionately calling it ‘Wheelie’. The wheelchair rolled to the seaside cliff on the outskirts of town, and for [...]
“A Short History of Sports Circa 2015,” by Ravi Mangla
It began with soccer overseas but spread like most European trends to the United States. It catalyzed a domino effect. The NBA was the first to go with Milwaukee trading in their antlered zealot for a dancing cup of joe. The Milwaukee Starbucks were born. They struggled after replacing water coolers with the considerably less [...]
“Brains!!!! Brains!!!!” by Andrei Trostel
If there is ever a “Zombie Attack” I think the staging ground or headquarters will be at a Home Depot. For instance 10 years ago I could walk into a Home Depot without a clue of where anything is or even how to install it and there would be a handy, knowledgeable staff member to [...]
“Culture Clash,”by Greg Calhoun
In the wake of “Slumdog Millionaire,” the networks have unveiled an international buffet of pilots battling to follow up on the movie’s unprecedented success. TV Guide was given a sneak-peek, so pick up the remote and punch your ticket for these spicy hopefuls: Pimp My Rickshaw (MTV) Ridin’ in style isn’t just for the gangsters [...]
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