“The hook,” I tell my creative writing students, “is the secret of getting read.” Unfortunately, powerful first-line hooks were nonexistent before the mid-1950s. This is probably why few readers willingly pick up a book published before that decade. Let me illustrate with examples of how once-famous novels could have been saved by inserting a commanding hook.

During King Charles’ historic coronation ceremony, all eyes were on the head that wears the crown and, more precisely, on that head’s Pantone Cool Gray #1-coloured tresses. Longtime hair-haver Charles III joins a proud lineage of British King Charleses, all of whom had more majestic hairstyles than the newly crowned sovereign.

It’s never too late to be a great Renaissance artist. Yes, the original Renaissance was a long time ago, but it’s making a comeback. Renaissance? So retro. R-squared, baby.

I get asked to work in haunted houses a lot.

My sister gets asked all the time to do professional modeling.

We’re both tall, but I get seen as Frankenstein’s monster and my sister gets seen as Naomi Campbell.

There’s a common type of person, known to all people, who is regularly referred to in a pejorative sense. He or she is the lowest form of human and is looked down on even by people who are also this combination of human being and refuse, even though they may not recognize the terrible qualities in themselves.